This is probably the most personal thing I've brought up on SG, but I wanted to tell everyone that I finally learned what disease my Grandma Jan has and how her life that is slowly diminishing is affecting me. I found out today after seeing her on her birthday that she's had Parkinson's Disease for a while. I never wanted to ask around my family what she had because it just seemed like it wasn't my business and I didn't want to look at her differently. She's a wonderful woman who would accept any one of us as her grandchild no matter what, color, sexuality, religion, etc. you were. don't know too much about it, but I know when she was probably in her late 60's earlier 70's that she needed to go to the doctors. Even with her whole family telling her that it was the right thing and she needed to go, my grandma simply didn't believe in doctors. Did she not believe in their methods? I will never know sadly. Deep down inside I want to think that if she only decided one day to simply go in that she could be healthier and happier right now. Instead, she sits in a retirement home and only sees some of her family members whenever they are able to stop by. She lives about 20-30+ minutes away depending on traffic, which is just a killer because not only do I have high school and college to deal with, but I also have lacrosse coming up which will take up my whole week's worth of weekdays.
Today, me, my brother, and my sister went to visit her for her birthday as I stated earlier. Over the past couple of years, she has been struggling with her voice (speaking), writing, and movement in general. She needs help getting out of her bed slowly and goes into a wheelchair anywhere she goes. You have to go right near her face to hear anything she says, and you most likely have to get her to repeat her words a couple of times. It honestly makes me sick to my stomach to see her like this. I'm actually getting pretty sad writing this lol. Besides that, she's been one of my reasons why I try to be the man I want to be. She had so many good words and always loved everyone for who they were. I wish I could drive her around places or have her be at my future wedding. Losing my one grandma (Grandma Barbera) many years ago didn't mean much to me, but knowing that in a couple of years I will lose another one breaks my heart.
I made this post to not only show one of my vulnerabilities but to hopefully get some of you guys to express someone that you may have lost or someone who is only currently dealing with a life-threatening disease. I feel like I've made myself feel somber enough. Thank you to all for reading this post. Just know that I had way more on my mind, but I'm not going to make a 10-page essay tonight haha.
I will always love you Grandma Jan and Rest In Piece Grandma Barbera - Chad