DubbyWubz

I have really messed up on this community, and I just thought about it, I started off faking my gender and I really don't know why I did it (I play on Minigames). I not only messed up my reputation but I hurt people who I made close friends around that time. I left the community or took a break from csgo for 3-4 months after finally figuring out what I was doing was stupid, but when I came back for some reason I continued it for another month until leaving again because I knew I was being retarded. When I came back the third time I had finally gotten over that stage and I stopped lying about who I was, and was too shy to really talk to anyone because 1. I hate myself and think I am pretty annoying 2. I was scared about my past and I wanted to forget it. I'm pretty sure people knew who I actually was from back then. Either way, after this point I basically act normal, but I'm starting to feel like I'm really just annoying and I find it hard for me to make friends because of this. I started using my mic on the server once but I stopped since I found it hard to make actual conversation. I'm used to playing courses on the server late at night by myself since I like waiting to see if someone will get on so I can have a one on one conversation with them. I really don't make much friends on the server anymore and used to just playing and saying dumb things in chat. My reputation is probably crappy, I really cant tell. In the end if anyone knows what i'm talking about I'm truly sorry for lying 2 years ago, and also understand why you can hate me.I enjoy this community a lot and I'm hoping to actually do something in the server and get a better reputation for myself. I regret what I did, and I really wish I could reverse it, and tbh I think its better to say this even though I'm just ruining my rep even more, Sorry again, for anyone who knows what I'm talking about and I affected during this (Amelia was the dumb name I came up with)