Time for a Baby

[Omar]

Just curious, why do you guys keep talking like he'll be gone for years? He said 10-12 months. 3 months at the most of not being with his girlfriend and child.

 

Perhaps some of you forgot it takes 9months for the child to be born...

 

His child won't even remember the first 3 months of her/his life anyways. Unless you're implying you think he'll die in Iraq.

 

Some people like to see the birth.

[Cobra Commander]

Fuck that birth shit, I don't want to be around when she's screaming "You did this to me!!!" "And I'd rather not see the whole baby with nasty shit coming out of what I like ^.-

 

Honestly I've already seen babies born, I've delivered 2 I don't see it as a big deal unless she wants me to be there for it.

[Veggie]

Support!

[Coffee Crisp]

The rewards will be much higher than the pain.

[LegalSmash]

Okay, as it appears everyone else here just talks about this sensitive issue on the thread, as opposed to PMing like I did, let me just do this here.

 

**Disclaimer: This is a relevant discussion of the law, not legal advice, I do not warrant any of the following text, nor does this constitute the practice of law in any jurisdiction applicable. The reader should consult with a qualified, Bar certified attorney in their home state in order to determine the best course of action and proper procedures to determine their rights and obligations under relevant law. NO LEGAL ADVICE IS OFFERED OR GIVEN, ONLY A DISCUSSION OF LEGAL PRINCIPLES **

 

Psychology aside, there are two main things you have to consider imho, you are bringing a child into the world which will require at minimum 18 years of healthy upbringing in a proper nurturing environment. A child SHOULD have its parents home if at all possible. You want a child, and that is fine, but seriously consider waiting until you return, or freezing a few loads of sperm in a sperm bank until you get back. The decision to make a child is a very large one, and as long as you seriously consider the consequences of that action, I cannot really object to what you may decide to do.

 

Consider however:

 

If you truly want to have a child, marrying the young lady prior to knocking her up would be a good idea for several reasons. First, a child born out of wedlock is considered a nonmarital child in most states, and you have to go through a pain in the ass expensive procedure to get the kid to inherit... this is completely solved by marriage, and automatic acknowledgment of paternity (for the rest of you that means "We know who's the daddy").

 

Second, in the unfortunate and hopefully unlikely event that said lovely young lady decides to Dear John you, you have a set of enforceable rights which you can use to ensure your being in the child's life, as a matter of law. This would by no means make the experience of divorce and dear john-ing pleasant, but it would secure your financial rights, and ensure the kid is not an afterthought to whatever problem would arise between you and

girl, because courts determine most issues where kids are involved in the best interest of said child.

 

 

Nonmarried couples having kids turn into nightmares for the people in the situation when the relationship goes south and mommy decides that she does not want to let daddy see junior. Additionally, marriage comes with tax benefits, survivorship rights which this woman would otherwise not have, and inheritance rights, which if you are really worried about being KIA, then you should seriously consider marriage, as it would avoid problems that would otherwise plague your family and child in receiving whatever compensation they would get from the military without losing a sizable portion to Probate court costs.

 

Other considerations you may want to make is ask if you can really afford to have a kid between the two of you, or you alone on your income from the military. Do you have a plan on providing kid for schooling, clothing, enrichment? How would you pay for education, healthcare in the event that you do not get to receive the military's lifetime healthcare?

 

Im not saying these things to frighten you or turn you off from the idea, but I think they are things you should seriously discuss with this young lady, and her family if possible.

 

It takes a village to raise a kid, I know, I was one of those kids raised like that, and I know first hand how shockingly traumatic ugly divorce fights and custody fights in non-marital/divorce situations can be. Would her family be disposed to helping you two work things out in the benefit of the kid? Would your family?

 

If you are at all religious, I'd even suggest to talk to your faith's advisor/preacher/priest/rabbi/imam, they are usually pretty good about these issues, and can be very helpful re kids and marriage.

 

Again, its completely you and her choice, but think in terms of that third little person who is going to be created in all of this, and what would be in their best interest, and whether a delay of a year will make all the difference in he/she's world.

[Red]

What legal said, read it.

[mNote]

Good luck and have fun Cobra.

 

PS: Don't die in Iraq!

[Modgers1]

Going off to Iraq will be a true test of your relationship. When you get back, if she still wants to have a kid, then you know she's been faithful, and the relationship is one to last.

 

-Modgers

[PotshotPolka]

What legal said, read it.

 

People don't come to the forums to read, they come to write.

[Modgers1]

People don't come to the forums to read, they come to write.

 

AKA Post counts.

 

 

-Modgers