Friday the 13th review

[LegalSmash]

Friday 13th Movie

 

If you are a fan of the friday 13 (hereinafter F13) you will probably enjoy this movie, as it pretty much rehashes the old concepts of the movie series along the same lines of the old movies, but using CGI and a blue screen rather than horrible rendered dummy effects.

 

Spoilers will follow, don't say you were not warned.

 

The movie basically combines the first 4 movies into one gorefest in an attempt to reboot the franchise. If you were born within the last quarter century, you have probably seen at least one of these films. The F13 series started in 1980 and has added to its fat ass waistline a whopping 11 movies, not including the new redo. For those living under a rock in Tora Bora, the series basically follows a bunch of dumbass teenagers getting killed in various ways by an undead retarded zombie with a hockey mask and a machete. In each movie of the series, he kills the stereotypically 80s cast of teen actors, ranging from a young kevin bacon to crispin glover, to that black kid who everyone liked who didnt play basketball but was not on different strokes. F13 was the rival franchise to the Nightmare on Elm Street/Freddy Krueger movies, until the iconic characters fought in "freddy versus Jason" in 2003.

 

Anyhow, the new movie follows the same premise, has a decently high body count for a movie only 1 1/2 hours long. The first 15 minutes of the film features several kills, gratuitous sex scenes, and imbecilic teenage banter, of what must be the new "in" words to say here in the states... I'm not sure what they were talking about, because when I was last considered "with it", "it" was to say stuff was "tight' and now, apparently, things are described in another manner and mens white shirts can reach your knees like an old lady's sleeping gown....

 

Anyhow, the remainder of the movie after the initial scenes follows the estranged brother of one of Jason's apparent victims in his quest to find her, with the help of the girlfriend of another one of the soon to be dead bodies (hereinafter Fratboy douchebag). Several people get killed, the majority of the cast, and the brother and sister get away, apparently because the producers seemed to think that "incest is wincest" and that they had to give a movie series that has spawned more sequels than octomom some closure after 1 1/2 hours.

 

Compared to the old movies, and despite Michael Bay's association with the film's production, the kills are unimaginative and lacking... everything hits someone in the head. In the old movies, people would be disemboweled, beheaded, killed by leaf blowers, or (my favorite) bludgeoned in a sleeping bag against a tree until the body came out as a bunch of broken manequin parts. The new movie sticks a machete in nearly every person's head... with the exception of an arrow to the head, a screw driver to the head, and a hatchet to the chest. I really think they could have done so much more in this department, as the series has SO MUCH INFO to go on... figure that the entire movie series minus the new one has over 150 deaths in it, and if you ask me, they could have done a little more than "sharp implement to skull = dead"...

 

As for Jason, apparently he can run now, as opposed to using old school 80s "Pop from thin fucking air" style... Jason runs like hes a roided up olympic athlete... If he was shown swimming, I imagine he'd make Phelps look slow. This is a welcome change as it furthers ever so slightly the suspension of disbelief of the movie, and makes it more enjoyable to watch. Jason gets hurt by the attacks of others, he's stabbed several times, he limps when he's injured, and the series reboot seems to show him as a big retard rather than a big retarded looking zombie... which is a new take, and I applaud their attempt at renovation, but I think it may go too far from the series.

 

All in all, I give this movie a 7 of 10, Its a great scare flick on a date, or for an afternoon by yourself when there's nothing more to do... It was made by the same people who remade the TCM movies and is a competent slasher film. Don't go in expecting Slumdog Millionaire, and you won't be disappointed.

[GrayFox]

Just a point about the killings, one girl did get tied up in her sleeping back, which was then hung over their campfire. That was awesome. Also, I enjoyed the fact that his machete could go through floors when they were above/below him.

[Harpr33t]

Just a point about the killings, one girl did get tied up in her sleeping back, which was then hung over their campfire. That was awesome. Also, I enjoyed the fact that his machete could go through floors when they were above/below him.

 

She was hot too.

[LegalSmash]

Someone post the clips lol.

[SOLANUM]

Eh, I didn't like it as much as you did. Just didn't feel like a Friday The 13th film .

 

I DID enjoy the boat to face though.

 

Aron Yoo did a great job, I liked his character in Disturbia. Was disapointing when he got a screwdriver to the throat.

[Taylor]

Meh it wasn't the best, i'd say it was quite lame to be frank.