broncoty Posted March 13, 2009 Content Count: 1615 Joined: 03/03/07 Status: Offline Share Posted March 13, 2009 (edited) http://www.fmylife.com/ haha this website is hilarious check it out It is a place where people post the worst thing that has happened to them. some previews Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML Today, I went to online to find out why my midterm grade is for my least favorite class Psychology. After weeks upon weeks of studying and doing work for a class I hate I found out that I have a zero in the class. Turns out I've been going to the wrong psychology class all semester. FML 1 Edited March 13, 2009 by broncoty Link to comment
Determined2Win Posted March 13, 2009 Content Count: 2427 Joined: 09/16/08 Status: Offline Share Posted March 13, 2009 Bookmarked! Thanks for sharing, -D2W Link to comment
Hazardous Posted March 13, 2009 Content Count: 2132 Joined: 06/30/07 Status: Offline Share Posted March 13, 2009 This site fucking rocks, check it out! Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML Link to comment
broncoty Posted March 13, 2009 Content Count: 1615 Joined: 03/03/07 Status: Offline Share Posted March 13, 2009 yea ive read 50 pages haha it never gets old Link to comment
SOLANUM Posted March 13, 2009 Content Count: 1933 Joined: 08/13/07 Status: Offline Share Posted March 13, 2009 This site fucking rocks, check it out! Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML Thats horrifying. Link to comment
Psyche Posted March 13, 2009 Content Count: 3343 Joined: 06/03/08 Status: Offline Share Posted March 13, 2009 Good god the psycology one is hilarious! Link to comment
Bald Posted March 13, 2009 Content Count: 649 Joined: 09/29/08 Status: Offline Share Posted March 13, 2009 Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML LOLOLOLOL. Today, an old girlfriend from years ago wanted to have lunch. Seeing as I had nothing to do, I went with her. She introduced me to her son. Apparently I am the father. My son is 6. FML LOLOLOLOLOLOL. Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!". I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML GAWD TOLD ME NOT TO LOL ON THAT ONE. =[ Link to comment
Hazardous Posted March 13, 2009 Content Count: 2132 Joined: 06/30/07 Status: Offline Share Posted March 13, 2009 (edited) Here's some good ones.. ____________ Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML ____________ Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML ____________ Today, it was my final meeting with my psychologist who was helping me with my bipolar disorder. I just found out that he committed suicide. FML ____________ Today, I dropped my keys. Not wanting to lean over and pick them up, I pointed at them and said "Accio." Then I realized I had tried to use a Harry Potter spell in real life and in public. FML Edited March 13, 2009 by Hazardous Link to comment
DoubleSb Posted March 13, 2009 Content Count: 4162 Joined: 11/27/08 Status: Offline Share Posted March 13, 2009 Bookedmarked. Lol Awesome site bronc Link to comment
PotshotPolka Posted March 13, 2009 Content Count: 6084 Joined: 03/31/08 Status: Offline Share Posted March 13, 2009 (edited) This one takes the motherfucking cake Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room... my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML Christ, the comments are even better go buy a new toothbrush with replaceable heads. brush your teeth until the original one is used beyond reason. then put a new one on it. then MAYBE your moth will be sanitary. god it's like you've been going down on your sister twice a day. ewww. incest via toothbrush. 1- Get a habanero pepper, cut it in half. 2- Rub cut ends all over toothbrush, bristles, handle, whatever. 3- Wait. Justice is a dish best served spicy. In my province of Alaska vibrators aren't sold, what did you say was the make and model of this vibrating tooth brush? Edited March 13, 2009 by PotshotPolka Link to comment
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