Only In cleveland

[Ibbz]

You actually know what Ghetto Tea is.

 

The phrase "lake effect" strikes terror in your heart

 

You always knew you lived in the Rock n Roll Capital of the World

 

Tourists ask you what time the river catches fire

 

You believe the Second Coming meant the Browns returning in 1999

 

You don't really know any homosexuals, you just know that there are a lot of them in Lakewood.

 

You know you don't really have an accent, the rest of the world does.

 

You take Dead Man's Curve at 60 mph holding your breath.

 

You know about the Eastside/Westside rivalry and you support it, but don't quite understand it.

 

Your neighborhood schools went without sports because all the senior citizens refused to pass the levies.

 

You actually know how to pronounce Cuyahoga.

 

You can't tell Brook Park, Brooklyn, or Old Brooklyn apart.

 

You see Christmas lights still up in July.

 

You have gotten 3 speeding tickets, and they are all from the mile long stretch of a suburb named Linndale.

 

You have no idea how exactly to get to the Flats, you just kind of end up on a bank and start partying.

 

St. Patty's Day is your number one holiday, and even if you aren't Irish.

 

You hear there are always famous people in town, but you have never seen one.

 

You take credit for Cedar Point even though it is 2 hours away.

 

You honestly believe that Cleveland is the best city in the world.

 

You're still dumbfounded by the Leaping Fountain in Tower City.

 

You have never ridden in a taxi.

 

You wear shorts the first day of the year it isn't below 30 and snowing, just because you can.

 

You're still relishing 1987 when we ALMOST made it to the Super Bowl.

 

You counted down with the monument in Tower City to t he exact second in 1999, when the Browns came back.

 

You know Tower City isn't a city at all.

 

You know all the 4 seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

 

You live less than 30 minutes from some college or university.

 

You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.

 

Toward the lake means north, and toward the river means south.

 

You measure distance in minutes.

 

You've had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

 

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example:

Where's my coat at?

 

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

 

You carry jumper cables in your car.

 

You know what 'pop' is.

 

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

 

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

 

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown.

 

The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires 6 pages for sports