My Ex and I

[Jager]

slavic I cant tell you anything I havent said before, but remembering this has gotten me through many a very very bad time.

 

we are never given more then we can handle, and we are never asked to carry more then we can handle.

 

if you find yourself running low whatever your religion may be (i assume muslim due to the allah comments over the time ive known you) god doesnt expect you to do this alone. whether it be here or on vent or in game or in real life, there are plenty of us who will listen and do our best to help in this time of grief,pain, and uncertainty. I havent walked her path, but I walk a similar one medically, I am here if you wanna talk or just blow off steam bro.

[Slavic]

Thanks Gager that means a lot. I have blown off a lot of steam taking with other ZM members ingame and have gotten medical help from some. It has helped a lot because there are few I can talk to back home.

 

I don't really worry much about the whole thing, mainly based on my beliefs of the way of the world. Things happen for a reason. There is no right or wrong. What is going on is natural and I've just got to let it take its course and not get sucked into it. I only worry about Jenn, because she is really tied up in the issue, but who can blame her.

[Slavic]

Despite the fact that Jenn most likely has one of the worst kinds of cancers in its advanced form, she has informed me today that she is NOT going to have the surgery to remove 30+ growths on her body.

 

Upon knowledge of this, I come to the conclusion that she is completely crazy. She is acting just like she did days before the supposed abortion that was to save her life. She is going to try to have this baby even if it means killing herself and bringing everyone she knows down with her.

[Silent]

Sorry to hear that bro.. you also have to keep in mind she might think she will die either way so she might just want to have a baby before she does. Just pondering but I really do hope everything turns out alright for you two.

[Omega]

This is why I tend to avoid long and serious relationships. I'm a one-stop-shop if you know what I mean.

 

On a positive note, hope everything turns out OK. Get some sense into her though... it's either surgery or death.

[Jager]

sorry to hear that slavic, but it is her choice, and she is probably viewing the surgury and pain involved and the possibility of dying during surgery or having the cancer come back anyway and suffering through surgical rehab for nothing versus dealing with it as she is and enjoying the life she has left without the scars of surgery emotional and physical.

 

I would point you toward asking for a greif counselor and if she is religious the pastor/priest of her faith to come and talk with her, she is grieving over so much, and she will as most people will most likely not do what you want her to do necessarily because of the above reasons, they can listen to her and give her an impartial sounding board that is not emotionally tied to her, (lets face it you may not be in a relationship with this person, ie in love with her but you do probably love her) and as such are more likely to argue with her or potentially be a stressor to her in this time of harsh decision making.

 

if this is her only chance probably to have a child she most likely desperatly wants to do so, but those people and her family and you need to come to a joint decision on how the child will be cared for in her absence and what if anything is to be done with the surgery.

[Slavic]

Another update on the situation.

 

We've been fighting since when I last updated whats been going on. For a few days we haven't talked to each other, until today. She called me and we talked for a bit. She went to the doctors again and this time they gave us some more solid information. They said that If she does not have the surgery and doesn't go into immediate chemotherapy, she will die before next May, exceptions. Her cancer is very advanced and if they can remove the growths and start treatment now, then she could survive.

 

I'm leaving right after this message to meet her and talk to her about the situation so we can decide what to do. I really hope she takes the treatment. I don't think she knows how hurtful her dieing will be to her family and everyone she knows.

[Slavic]

Well I figured I'll talk more about the situation since I've been putting my story up here.

 

About 2 weeks ago my Ex miscarried. Mind you the baby was 7 months old when it happened so it wasn't a full miscarriage. The baby was dead inside her for another 5 days before we could get enough money to pay for a forced labor operation.

 

She is currently $12,000 in debt right now due to all the recent medical bills and operations. We do not have enough money to start her Chemotherapy treatment, nor do we have enough money to even bury my child. Most of her money goes into rent and food, while I've had a slow season work-wise. I can barely make my own bills let alone help her.

 

The doctors think that she may go into kidney failure, but we can't really do anything about it since we are so far in debt, we won't get accepted. I'm almost certain now that she will die within the month.

 

Meh this year has been really hard on me and her, but I knew deep down that it was going to end like this months ago. So thats whats up I guess.

[Super Nublet]

Nothing i or anyone else says will make you feel better. I give you props for doing what you did, not everyone would do it. I'm sorry for what is happening in your life, you can talk to me anytime you need.