my packers blog

[Harbor]

tell me what you guys think, im considering sports journalism as a career.

 

http://packreact.blogspot.com/2010/12/packers-v-patriots.html

[Spiffy]

As I sat down Sunday night, to watch this weeks game, I sat down like most football fans with half a brain. Expecting the Patriots to run away with the game, expecting the Packers new quarterback Matt Flynn to look exactly like what we expect a back up to look like. Not very good. Instead I and the whole viewing auidence were treated to a pleasent surprise, Flynn is good. While, he isn't Brady, Favre, or Rodgers good. Against a defense that had held teams the likes of the Bears and the Jets to a combined, 10 points, in the past two weeks. Flynn went 24-37, 251 yards with 3 TD's and an interception. Not to shabby for a guy who had his first start.

 

If you take a peak at the score, you'll say well the Packers D gave up 31 points, I thought they were good! Well that is incorrect, when the Patriots had the ball, which was rare, they started with pretty decent field position the whole time. 1 touchdown was on a "pick 6" the other set up by a 70 yard kick return by a fat offensive linemen. The whole game the Packers Defense looked good, holding the patriots to enough 3 and outs, and punts to put the Packers Offense into a position to win the game.

 

The Packers for once this season had a balanced attack, they ran the ball around 40 times and passed around 40 times. Keeping it balanced kept the big bad Brady, pacing back and forth on the sidelines, while the Packers Offense marches up and down the field having the ball for nearly 40 minutes.

 

 

All in all the Packers looked good, but how much Rodgers is missed is obvious espeacilly in the final 2 minutes where Flynn had a chance to be the hero, and ended up showing why he is the back up quarter back.

 

Sorry man. I started to make separate quotes until I realized that every single sentence was written poorly. Where did you learn English? It seriously needs some work. No one is going to read a blog with that poor of grammar.

[Coffee Crisp]

^

 

Also, avoid contractions if you want to be official along with using brackets or dashes if you want to separate different thoughts in a paragraph (these are supposed to cover a single topic.)

[Harbor]

I was more referring to the content, etc. Because my English mechanics can be fixed.

[Spiffy]

I tried to rewrite it for you.

 

As I sat down Sunday night to watch this weeks game, I sat down like most football fans with half a brain: Expecting the Patriots to run away with the game and expecting the Packers back up quarterback, Matt Flynn, to look like a back up and give a bad impression. Instead, the viewing audience was treated to a pleasant surprise. Flynn played well. While he isn't as good as Brady, Favre, or Rodgers, he played well against a defense that held the Bears and the Jets to a combined 10 points in the previous two weeks. Flynn completed 24 of 37 passes, threw for 251 yards, 3 touchdowns and an interception. Flynn was not too shabby for a guy in his first career start.

 

If you take a peek at the score, you might say, "Well the Packers defense gave up 31 points. I thought they were good!" Well, they are good. When the Patriots had the ball, which was rare, they started with pretty decent field position. One touchdown was on a "pick 6", another was setup by a 70 yard kick return by a fat offensive lineman. The Packers defense looked good the entire game. They held the Patriots to enough "3 and outs" and punts to put the Packers offense in a position to win the game.

 

For once this season, the Packers has a balanced attack. They ran and passed the ball about 40 times each. Keeping the balance kept the "big bad Brady" pacing back and forth on the sidelines, while the Packers offense marched up and down the field. The Packers had possession of the ball for nearly 40 minutes.

 

All in all, the Packers looked good. However, it really showed how much Rodgers will be missed, especially in the final 2 minutes when Flynn had a chance to be the hero but ended up showing why he is the back up quarterback.

As for content, it needs more detail, explanations, and passion.

 

EDIT: I will explain a bit more I guess. You should be more specific. There is a lot of general information in this. You should mention specific plays, what specific players did, and more information about what is going on. An example would be your last "paragraph" about Flynn's chance to be a hero. Explain what happened and why he is not the hero.

[Supa]

When it comes to sports journalism Sham, you need to have that "wow" factor. What about your writing is going to intrigue the reader? This is something that you will develop if you have enough interest in writing. From what I read above, it is a ll a bit too bland. Like Spiffy said, you need more passion. If this is a Packers blog, I would assume 95% of your readers are going to be Packer fans... I'm sure all that information that you wrote, they probably already knew. You need to make the blog more opinionated (what you liked/didn't), the Packers lost the game... let off some steam. It doesn't all have to be pro-packers. A little criticism is good to have.

 

Having written for my college newspaper... it's a rough life if you choose to be a journalist. Deadlines, long hours, people that want to talk to you and people that don't. It's just one of those jobs that's fun, but sucks at the same time.

 

Keep working at it though, especially if it's something you want to aspire doing. Good luck and you are always welcome to ask me for any advice or help.

[TheTruth]

Just stealing my dream to become a sports journalist. You're looking at the next Bill Simmons ladies and gents.