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Some things to do with your body after you've DIED!!!

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http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/04/30/dead.bodies/index.html

There is more than the normal stuffing yourself into a box to be stuck in the ground or burnt up and put into a metal vial. In the link are some of the weirdest things done to dead bodies ever!

 

Personally, if I could afford it, I'd like to be blasted off this rock and float in space. But thats just me, I'm weird like that.

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Not me man..

 

"Send me to glory in a Glad bag"

 

That's right.. put me out on the curb on Tuesday and let the City Sanitation company earn their moneys...

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I'd like to be buried with my trustly pump-action shottie, a pair of elites and a napalm grenade.

 

That way when i come back to life as a zombie i can get some revenge on all those gun-toting humans

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I dunno about you guys, but this is what I want done!

 

I want to be embalmed, but not smelly. Secondly I want to be able to stand up right on my own. If this is accomplished through an actual stand, or rods/wires, it doesn't matter. As long as I am free standing.

 

Then I want a giant clock implanted into my chest or stomach. Every hour, on the hours, my mouth will open up and my tongue will shoot out! Of course, there will be a tiny little bird on my tongue that goes "Cooko! Coooko!" (Duh.)

 

I sort of want motion sensors in my eyes, so when my family walks by my corpse will say pre-recorded things! Anything from "I love you!" to "Don't do anything bad I'm watching you!" to "Did you turn the oven off?" Stuff like that.

 

What would I be? A real-life, legitimate, Grandfather-Clock!!!

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I dunno about you guys, but this is what I want done!

 

I want to be embalmed, but not smelly. Secondly I want to be able to stand up right on my own. If this is accomplished through an actual stand, or rods/wires, it doesn't matter. As long as I am free standing.

 

Then I want a giant clock implanted into my chest or stomach. Every hour, on the hours, my mouth will open up and my tongue will shoot out! Of course, there will be a tiny little bird on my tongue that goes "Cooko! Coooko!" (Duh.)

 

I sort of want motion sensors in my eyes, so when my family walks by my corpse will say pre-recorded things! Anything from "I love you!" to "Don't do anything bad I'm watching you!" to "Did you turn the oven off?" Stuff like that.

 

What would I be? A real-life, legitimate, Grandfather-Clock!!!

 

... i think i've heard that from a stand up comic before... Nick Swanson?

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... i think i've heard that from a stand up comic before... Nick Swanson?

 

I've never heard it from a stand-up before, but it's definitely possible! Seems like a pretty good/easy theme for a comic act. *shrugs*

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