African Assault in the Restroom

[LegalSmash]

So I am in a panera studying today with the girlfriend. The last 2 times we have been to this coffee/sandwich place, a very dark, thickly accented african guy in his late 30s has come up and asked me if I practice law, and then the same to my study partner or Gf. My Gf tells the guy that she is a geneticist and not a lawyer, and he asks her "if he can find his daddy"... he asks me for assistance with an immigration issue, which I tell him that I am unable to do. I go to the bathroom to take another trademark EPIC shit. As I am sitting on the throne, minding my own business and reading some notes I snuck in, I feel suddenly as if I am being watched.

 

I look up and notice that there is a very yellowlike eye staring at me. This weirds me out... I then see the top of a head, eyes and nose, pop over the partition and duck back down. I am thoroughly weirded out now. I then hear a knock on the bathroom door. Its that fucking African again... and he begins to ask me about immigration law and starts asking me for help again. While I am in mid turd drop.

 

What the fuck. What is it, do they not fucking have bathrooms in Africa? Is there no understanding on the "leave me alone when I shit" rule? Do I look like the fucking Immigration and Naturalization Service agent? I politely decline again, and he FOLLOWS ME OUT OF THE BATHROOM ASKING ME MORE FUCKING QUESTIONS, before he leaves.

 

Yesterday, I had a Congolese attorney sit next to me and after inquiring about my being cuban, and asking if I am opposed to Castro, begins to tell me how much he loves Che and how "edgy" he is. This is AFTER he finds out that the bastard killed people close to my family and within my extended family.

 

WTFZOR?

 

What the fuck is wrong with these two Africans? Is it the water, or lack of? Is it too much sun? Is it lead in the paint on the giraffe? Does this asshole think he is a Congressman?

 

Jesus Christ.

[Italian Jew]

What city is this?

 

I know in DC there are fucked up people (and these guys sound like winners).

[BOOWY]

I say no to pretty much anything that someone asks me. Works out great.

[LegalSmash]

What city is this?

 

I know in DC there are fucked up people (and these guys sound like winners).

 

It was DC.

OMG, Jew, it was FUCKING INSANE. He was WATCHING ME Wiping my Ass.

[Italian Jew]

It was DC.

OMG, Jew, it was FUCKING INSANE. He was WATCHING ME Wiping my Ass.

 

At least he wasn't trying to help...

[SOLANUM]

Good god Panera has THE BEST sandwhiches ever......*looks around awkwardly*....ahem...right then.

 

 

 

 

Sol

[GrayFox]

Good god Panera has THE BEST sandwhiches ever......*looks around awkwardly*....ahem...right then.

 

I disagree, they always seem to burn when I take them home and cook them. Did there happen to be a hole in the side of the bathroom wall legal?

[LegalSmash]

No there was not, it was a fully enclosed cripple stall. Which made it all the more disturbing that this guy LOOKED through the partition split between the movable door and the wall with the lock attachment.

[Italian Jew]

I don't think Legal went into a glory hole bathroom

 

It was Panera after all (unless Panera is code for the Blue Oyster, or something like that)

[GrayFox]

Well, take a look at your sig, then you'll realize it.