Question of the day 4/10/19

[Ejivis]

You... you good there man? It sounds like the question personally attacked you lmao

 

Well all of those are instant disqualifications and were the first ones that came to mind. I could think of some more if I really sat down and tried...

[TheZZL]

I just need someone who's honest towards me and actually cares. Nowadays honesty is so hard to find and the friends/people populating our high-schools are obsessed with living some sort of double life, so they're fake with everyone.

[tides]

if you're under 6 ft you're out

 

in all seriousness, I prob would never date someone who chews or smokes

otherwise, I guess someone who doesn't like to talk/communicate much because why the hell would you be in a relationship with someone who won't talk to you

but that's just me

 

sounds like @WavY would be a good match

[Gentoo]

if you're under 6 ft you're out

 

in all seriousness, I prob would never date someone who chews or smokes

otherwise, I guess someone who doesn't like to talk/communicate much because why the hell would you be in a relationship with someone who won't talk to you

but that's just me

6'4 lanklet checking in. Thank god you didn't mention vaping

 

Has a different religion or belief system, has an opposite or very different political stance, has a drug addiction, has a alcohol addiction, has a narcissistic personality, doesn't want children, is not family oriented, has manipulative tendencies, is a compulsive liar, showcases dishonesty, showcases disloyalty, has a lack of compassion, has a disinterest in fitness, has a dislike for people and social interaction, is selfish, doesn't appreciate romantic gestures, has a low sex drive, has a bad relationship with family members, treats people badly behind their backs, has an issue with video games, has a bipolar personality, is controlling, doesn't talk about their feelings, is secretive, holds grudges, doesn't like to eat good food or is a vegetarian, DOESN'T LOVE DOGS.

 

While some of these may, be taken as indicators of other issues, or red flags, I don't think they necessarily define who a person is. People change, and if they're willing to date you with opposing stances on some of these things, they probably don't attribute a great deal of importance to them.

 

I started dating my girlfriend when I was 15 and she was a polar opposite of me: far left politics, anti-religious, dyed hair, claimed to be bisexual (despite having no previous romantic or sexual partners), etc. you get the point. Despite all of this, 4 years down the road, she's come 180 and hates to think of the person she used to be. I think if someone loves you enough, and if you love them, they're willing to change for you, or at least think about whether you or their politics are more important. Granted she was 15, so someone who is say 25, may be a bit less malleable.

 

I could never be with someone who doesn't enjoy talking to me. I don't need them to be interested in everything I am, but they should at least be able to hold a conversation. I consider myself very fortunate to have someone who puts up with all the random nonsense I spout about movies, art, politics, work, etc. You would be surprised by the number of people that aren't willing to entertain a conversation, much less engage in actual discussion.

[Cept For Her]

This is a difficult question because I'm bad about judging how I feel about other people when I have some sort of connection with them. Personally, I would say the biggest disqualification is if that person was only dating to have someone to be with, and not because they want someone to spend their future with.

[delirium]

Being into someone like me is the biggest red flag. I don't want to date anyone who wants to date me.

 

This threads been interesting so far to say the least though.

[roux]

 

This threads been interesting so far to say the least though.

 

massive if factual

 

i'm open minded, but i would not marry a lesbian

 

ladies hit delirium's dms

[Ejivis]

While some of these may, be taken as indicators of other issues, or red flags, I don't think they necessarily define who a person is. People change, and if they're willing to date you with opposing stances on some of these things, they probably don't attribute a great deal of importance to them.

 

That is wishful thinking. 99% of the time people do not change who they are. If they do change, it is only temporary and they revert back to the person they have always been. You are asking for trouble and setting yourself up for failure in the future if you think people can alter their inner-self just because you love them. They have to make that decision themselves on the inside and not with just words. Love has nothing to do with making a relationship work. The point is, you should never be with someone who doesn't believe the things you believe in. Broken people cause broken relationships and the things I mentioned are all attributes of a broken person. The type of thinking you outline is why divorce rates continue to go up.

 

15 year old kids also do not even know who they are yet. They really do not even have a basic understanding of adult life and how the world and real relationships work. Their relationships are minimalist in nature and arent as serious as they think.

[Nick.]

-Man

-Dumb

-Midget

-Overly needy

-sneaky

-Insincere

 

if you're under 6 ft you're out

 

in all seriousness, I prob would never date someone who chews or smokes

otherwise, I guess someone who doesn't like to talk/communicate much because why the hell would you be in a relationship with someone who won't talk to you

but that's just me

 

6 foot 3 here

 

DMs, open sesame!

[roux]

That is wishful thinking. 99% of the time people do not change who they are. If they do change, it is only temporary and they revert back to the person they have always been. You are asking for trouble and setting yourself up for failure in the future if you think people can alter their inner-self just because you love them. They have to make that decision themselves on the inside and not with just words. Love has nothing to do with making a relationship work. The point is, you should never be with someone who doesn't believe the things you believe in. Broken people cause broken relationships and the things I mentioned are all attributes of a broken person. The type of thinking you outline is why divorce rates continue to go up.

 

15 year old kids also do not even know who they are yet. They really do not even have a basic understanding of adult life and how the world and real relationships work. Their relationships are minimalist in nature and arent as serious as they think.

 

You're telling me you wouldn't date someone who happens to be near-perfect for you if they happened to believe in a different imaginary god than you or happened to be allergic to dogs? Your list seems pretty damn exhaustive. Sure, wishful thinking is a bad mindset to start a relationship with, but don't you think some things that you personally listed as being red flags are fairly easy to change?

 

I also don't see how having a different political opinion or beliefs makes someone a "broken person".