Change

[sWz]

Hey all,

 

So I started playing on these servers a lot last summer, and I granted I was an absolute toxic douche. I had yet to understand that there were actual people behind the other screens of the players I was with. It's not a good excuse, but I was going through a lot of family and personal issues at the time. Lots of deep shit that hit me and my family out of nowhere. I had also just moved from California to Tennessee and I had a lifestyle I was used to flipped on its' head, so it was a nice escape to dispense my anger and hatred towards. Not to mention I didn't have many real life friends that weren't thousands of miles away from me, so I was spending a lot of time on the computer (note my 6k hours in cs).

 

Shortly after I started to recognize and understand this community, and I've been genuinely eye opened by what I've seen and experienced here. This is such an incredible group of people that has really helped me through the lowest points of my life to date. It's given me a lot and looking back on what I've done and how I've acted since I've joined, it's more than fair to say I haven't given it the same back. To everyone who's put up with my toxic shit for the past year, I really do owe you guys.

 

The reason I made this post was because again, I feel the need to give back. I've been inclined to become an admin, but it doesn't exactly take a detective to know I'm not ready for the job. I feel the need to help create an environment where kids who were in as troubled times as I was mature in an environment that shows them how to be a genuine person, because that's what all of you did for me.

 

I know it sounds corny, but I really want to turn a new leaf. An admin, who I'll keep anonymous for obvious reasons, said that I had a forum post in the admin-only forums about how I was a toxic asshole that no one wanted to be around. I was told that this post was way back in November of last year, and that really stuck to me. It made me question myself; had I really changed for the better in say, 6 months? Am I making progress as a person? That's not a question I can really answer myself, because I'll always second guess myself because I'm often reminded of how oblivious I am to the effects of my actions on other people.

 

The point is that since my old computer broke in December of last year, I've tried to make a conscious effort to make a clean slate for myself and change the way people see me. I've become more active on the forums, suggested balance changes, exposed map bugs made player complaints, and tried to become less of the appendix of SG. I'm light years from perfect, but the only way I feel I can finish this journey is by knowing if I'm on the right path. If anyone has something to say about how they feel about me, or if you think I've improved at all or gotten worse in the past few months, I need you to get it off your chest so I know which way to go. Don't be afraid to be bold or harsh because that's how I've acted towards many of you for the past year.

 

I really appreciate anyone who's taken the time out of their day to read this and respond. I'm really in debt to many of you.

[thump]

Shut the fuck up you toxic clown. I'm joking but I really did think you were just some toxic asshole before, but recently I have noticed that you have been a lot better and realized that you were trying to be less toxic. It makes the game more enjoyable to play when you're not just trying to flame everyone. I've definitely noticed a lot of positive change in the way you interact with the members of the server. Hope your life continues to get better and you continue to grow your character. I know I am toxic and mess around with a lot of people too, so that's something I should probably work on as well

[Creten]

It takes balls to make a post like this. I’m sure that I’m going to be saying what everyone else will, but here we go. Back in 2019 your attitude was horrible, you were extremely toxic and you could tell that some of the things you said weren’t jokes. Recently in the past couple of months your attitude has changed a lot. Your attitude has changed a lot, for the better. Your attitude and general maturity has gotten better and I personally can tell you’re trying your best to get better. You’re making good threads/posts about servers, your great to play with, and your general personality has shifted from complete asshole to a fun and humorous guy. Don’t beat yourself up even if there was a thread about you in 2019, that was almost 8 months ago, you’ve changed for the best since then.

 

If I can go from being banned in February to where I am right now, you can get admin. You just have to put in some elbow grease.

[kuri]

Change isn’t easy, and I’ve seen you do a lot of changing when I came back to sg. I do want to acknowledge all of the improvements from the previous daft and I want to say you’re on the path to something great especially with the ideas you put out into rule discussions I’m sure if you became more helpful in game and started enforcing the rules I’m sure you’d be a great candidate for admin in the future. Good job on the 180 I really do admire when someone can do that, and I hope you good luck in your future endeavors wether that be at SG or anywhere else.

[Benzene]

It takes a lot of courage to make a thread like this addressing some of your flaws, and you have my respect for that. What I can tell you is that I know you are incredibly passionate about this community. You have a lot of great ideas and suggestions, and you're well-known and active within the community. I've also seen a lot of improvement in attitude, maturity, and toxicity from you as well. Your efforts have not gone unnoticed.

 

You contribute to discussions and put forth valuable ideas, and you put a lot of thought and effort into what you say, which is more than what a lot of other regulars, and even some admins do. You say that you seriously want to become an admin one day, and I can honestly say that if you keep this up, I don't doubt you'll get the support you need, including mine.

 

Change and growth is hard, and it takes a lot of hard work to change what people

think about you. However, it's not impossible, and I think you're on the path to showing everyone that you can change. Best of luck daft.

[Vanya]

2-3 years ago, I was a toxic motherfucker. It's really hard to change your attitude on servers (especially JB) when you have so many infuriating things affecting you. It's really hard to do a full 180 and it took me a whole break that lasted longer than a year from CSGO to change my demeanor when playing. Even though I haven't seen the previous daft, I can still see the momentous change in your attitude in SG. Like others said, recently you've been contributing a lot of good ideas on our forums and try to help our servers become a more clean and fun environment for everyone. If you just keep your momentum and keep doing what you're doing I'm sure people would see you as a great player and not some toxic dingus who feeds off of the rage of 12 year olds.

[gween]

About 2 years ago when I first joined SG I was a lying, rule breaking, annoying, piece of shit reg that I wouldn’t want to deal with, and to be quite honest with you I’m surprised I haven’t accumulated more bans over the time I’ve been here. It took me a good 4-6 month break from SG to come back and not be the asshole that I used to be, a lot of people here have done shit in the past that I’m sure we regret doing in SG, but that shouldn’t dictate who we are now. It takes balls to make a post like you did, confronting your past issues and showing us all that you truly have changed for the better, and I’m glad you have. You’re a really cool guy to be around and you always make the servers a bit more enjoyable to be on.

[starbucks]

jesus christ can you zoomers stop saying the word toxic

[20 scrolls]

Daft man, ever since I started playing jailbreak you were always there playing, and everytime I would take FO you would spam something like "imagine taking FO and giving chat orders" and everytime you did it you made me hate you even more. But compared to how you were then versus now I can say that you have improved a lot, your a much better person to be around now and you do make JB more enjoyable to play on. I hope you can continue improving yourself and maybe one day become someone that can help the community.

[RemixedPixel]

two thumbs up from me, but I'm not your fuckin dad

 

good on you to work on self improvement