[Answered] Previous Post

[Prayer]

One finale thing that I wasn't able to post before I wasn't able to respond:

 

The thing is, if you ask anyone on the server, I'm not toxic. I didn't intend that to be toxic, and those were also somewhat out of context. Those were during arguments where I was being called other bad things and was being threatened by other players. I intended to be in a somewhat joking manner, but I guess they didn't come off that way. At no point in my admin app did people reapply or abstain because I'm toxic. Those people I play with every single day on the server, so they would know if I'm toxic.

 

I guess you guys will never believe me, then whatever. I tried, and in the end that's all I can do.

[Prayer]

Another note, everybody who supported me said that I was a calm person, and nobody who reapplyed me said I was toxic. I have defused other situations through voice  chat, or have ignored them. In my opinion, 2 or 3 chat instances of me saying something to somebody somewhat out of context from somebody who doesn't know me shouldn't be the deciding factor on if I obtain admin. 

 

I might make another app in a month, but I probably wont. I'm calm and collected basically always when I play on the server through voice chat, but I guess my profile can't show that. Whatever, I'm done with this for now.

 

(additionally, I'm usually always on the server at least an hour a day, and was on it for at least 2-3 today, so activity isn't the problem, it's the fact that I type when I'm rarely angry, and talk or don't whenever I'm practically always calm. I guess I have to start typing instead of talking.)

[Aster]

Let it go man listen to what BoM said.

[BoM]

You again, did not read all of what was said to you as none of what you are saying was the deciding factor in you being denied. You had 5 votes...f i v e...it just isn't enough support for us to give you admin. Also you argue that what was said was taken out of context and that you were arguing because you were being calling bad things and being threatened, but that's not really the point of it. Admins get called mean shit everyday, they get argued with, they get told they are flat out wrong and a whole bunch of other things and they need to be able to handle and defuse situations properly despite that. You have again chosen to ignore a very large part of why you were denied, which was your lack of overall support and at this point you are doing yourself more harm than good. If you actually care and want admin in the future you should read and understand what is being said to you in terms of ways you can improve and prove you are this calm and capable person by simply going out there and doing that...not arguing about it on the forums.

 

I'll leave this open for a bit so you can respond with any other questions you might have, don't make me regret it.

[Prayer]

I'm not trying to argue. I did read your response, and I definitely agree with most of it. I wrote the above part to just say that I actually care for the server and being admin, but I can understand how it came off differently, and also that I try my best to be nice and welcoming. The part about me getting denied and me making an app was a little ill thought out, and I regret typing that now. 

 

You are right about just about everything you said in your response, and I'm not trying to deny it. not enough people supported my app, I understand that completely and know it isn't enough. My argument in my original post wasn't that great, and I'll admit that it was pretty poor thought out and presented as well. My chat logs do make me look aggressive and bitter, which I can completely understand and see from an outside perspective. I do get easily aggressive when I feel offended, and my chat logs don't hide that. I don't want you to feel like I don't care about this or your response, because I do. I always try my hardest to be a nice and calm person, but I do burst sometimes and make assumptions on stuff. I definitely need to work on that, I see that now. Your suggestions for me to calibrate to my surroundings and be more aware of them and myself definitely makes sense, and I hope that I can work on that. Now that I look back on it with your response and insight, I should try to make my temper calmer,  as well as become more known in the general community. 

 

I do care about this community, and now I know I should also care for my attitude and temper as well. I appreciate you actually taking time to help me, and I hope I can make you or somebody that  I look up to in  this community proud one day when I change.

 

Thank you for this.