ok, another pile of wisdom. sure, i'm taking adderall along with my diet, but my diet is still perfect logic:
Wrathek's Guide to a Leaner, Meaner You!
Rule #1: Drink ONLY WATER. EVER. And lots of it.
This will kill the vast majority of people's excess calorie intake by a margin most would be astounded by. They aren't called empty calories for nothing! It also kills alot of sugar intake, for all you lardasses that love coke or dr. pepper.
Also, drinking lots of it, you will have alot less room to eat! Ingenious I know!
Rule #2: No Fried Foods. EVER. EVER EVER.
This rule was the hardest for me to accept, and is probably too cruel for most people. I love food, and thus love fried food, but after about 2 weeks i didn't miss it. The lack of grease in the diet is disturbingly helpful to your overall health.
"But Wrath, what do you classify as friend?" you ask? Here's what I classify as fried, regardless of method used to cook:
Fried No Nos:
1. Fried (insert food here) This one's a no-brainer. No fried chicken, no chicken fried steak. As few buffalo wings as possible.
2. No French Fries, or Potato product for that matter.
3. Any kind of meat not grilled, really.
Rule #3: Portions Portions Portions!!!
Buck up lardass. You could be eating salad, but if you don't eat less, you're not going to lose any weight at all! Thankfully i've been on this medicine for so long, I can gladly say that my stomach has literally shrunk by a staggering margin, and can no longer eat as much as I used to, even if i wanted to.
This can be achieved by eating around 6 meals a day, instead of 3 fatfuck indulgences a day you call "meals". These meals should never be more than half of what you're used to eating in one of those regular meals.
Rule #4: Toppings? Moar Liek Flopping Fat Rolls Amirite?
Don't smother your food with disgusting amounts of "toppings". Eating a salad ceases to be healthy when it has 2 and a half bottles of ranch and half the pig worth of ham and bacon on it. A small amount is okay, but just fucking stop before you put too damned much on there!
Rule #5: The Most Important Meal of the Day
DO NOT SKIP BREAKFAST GOD DAMNIT. I was the worst at this, I will admit that. But after these past months I know for a fact that it is indeed the most important meal of the day. Beyond the energy boost you get to be prepared for the day, this (SMALL) meal will put something into your stomach from the get-go so that your first world ass doesn't feel "starved" by lunch or fifth Brunch.
Let me stress that I do indeed mean small. A serving of yogurt, or a bowl of cereal, maybe just a breakfast sandwich. Don't go fucking eating sausage links, pancakes or fucking waffles, even if it reminds you of home.
Rule #6: TAKE A MULTI-VITAMIN
DO IT. And I mean one pushing the boundaries of being called a vitamin. You're gonna want to get one that is called/should be referred to as a dietary supplement. The one with 100% daily values for every vitamin known to man and then a large portion of ones unknown. Beyond ensuring you get the vitamins and minerals your body should have to stay fit, your immune system will SKYROCKET!
And I mean skyrocket. I haven't gotten so much as an itchy throat or a cold since I started taking a multivitamin without ceasing.
Rule #7: Avoid "Rewarding" Yourself
Yes, you've been a good boy, fatty. Candy, VERY rarely, and in VERY small doses is good for everybody. But don't go eating the whole box of truffles, you don't want to look like TCP, ok?
Don't look at that supreme extra cheese double greased pizza with a side of wings and cheese bread as a reward for doing so good. Look at it as a horrible temptation to ruin all of the work you've done so far.
Rule #8: Invest in a scale
I weigh myself daily. While I can't necessarily suggest doing this yourself, I actually still see enough results day to day to warrant it. But weighing yourself at least once a week will remind you of how much that party over the weekend or that 50 pack of McNuggets fucked up your progress. It will also be a good motivator in the opposite since, if you're doing well, you'll see it, and want to do even better.
Follow these guidelines, and regardless of anything else you do, I assure you, you will lose weight. Slowly or not, you will lose weight.