Repeat

People have been saying that the world is going to end soon for hundreds of years I'm sure. And we're still here. I'd be more afraid of wack-job countries and terrorists BLOWING YOU UP and starting Nuclear War which would be not so great. That'd ruin everyone's day pretty quickly!!! Or maybe some hardcore alien assholes might get us. Independence Day, anyone? OH NO!

I'm allergic to penacillin. Bummer, huh? I sorta can die if I take it... My roommate is allergic to milk (lactose intolerance). About a year ago I didn't think it was super serious, so I replaced his lactaid with real milk and he got really sick. Super poops. Not good for him, or for me. I bought him a few cases of beer to make up for it, though.

*runs away scared*

Guys, be VERY CAREFUL when you get this email. They are saying that 100% of the people who recieve this email DIE! Scary, I know. But it's definitely true and backed by scientific fact.

I think Spiderman is going to win.

Paladin

more like super win

I missed it all, butternuts!

Dude. He has a two year old son. (might be a little younger, don't remember)

LOLOL

It was no dream, my friend. We cuddled in the moonlight.

Haha, I used to be a virgin because no one would have sex with me. Then Raven came along....and my life was changed...what I wouldn't give to go back to that day on the French Riviera...the wine...the cheese...the small herd of goats frolicking in the garden ...oh boy I'm getting flustered.

...You...you do?

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need. BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need. FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk. PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you. DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you. PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk. REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk. BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you. LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

I'm sick of ass-hats ruining my state's reputation! Blah! Seriously.

Owned! I'm pretty sure we all knew it would go bad. Tee-heee! :001_wub:

On my calculus exam, I didn't know the answer so I wrote 4 8 15 16 23 42 My TA had a Lost shirt on, so I think I'm set.

Because it's not really rape if you're willing.

Hooray for not dropping the soap! Congrats on not going to jail, dude!

Alright, whatever?

DRINK THAT SHIT!